WHAT HAPPENS IN REAL LIFE

Sometimes, when you go out for a night on the town with your pals, you think you're Jem and the Holograms...


...but when the morning comes, you realise you're just The Misfits

TRY IT!

PASSPORT CONTROL

If you're remotely interested in seeing John's passport photo, look no further:

SAND LORD MIXTAPE #1

Okay, so Muxtape is down at the moment due to severe unradness from the wonderful wonderful wonderful RIAA, so here's something completely nice. Bang it in and stick it up. Whattttttttttttttt

self confidence 101

If you're ever really up against it, and feel like there's no hope, just remember this - you exist in the same reality where the skinny one from 'Trexx and Flipside' gets considerable screentime in 'Batman : The Dark Knight'.

That does so much more for me than an entire childhood of "you can be anything you want to be" Disney movies.

watch it til the end

laura is the best ever at finding videos on youtoob

Tour Video 10

Darlington?? Huh?


Dananananaykroyd Jul/Aug Tour Sick 10 from Ddavid Rroy on Vimeo.

That's it! I hope you enjoyed the tour videos! They've had hundreds of plays, which makes me happy. Cheers!

TOUR VIDEO 9

BRIGHTON!


Dananananaykroyd Jul/Aug Tour Sick 9 from DAvidd ROyy on Vimeo.

Tour Video 8

LONDON... again!


Dananananaykroyd Jul/Aug Tour Sick 8 from David Roy on Vimeo.

RAGE AGAINST BEING GOOD

Oh Dear from david roy on Vimeo.

Oh dear.....

GAY

Just to clear things up officially and to prevent the risk of upsetting any more gay people (if you don't know what i'm talking about, it doesn't matter), one third of our band is homosexual. The other two thirds are in no way homophobic and pretty much see everyone, of any sexual orientation, to be a beautiful baby with a lovely, lovely face. I very much doubt that, if the straight ones in the band were in any conceivable way homophobic, the chances of them being allowed or even wanting to play in this band are as slim as Calum's stretched-out toddler body. Loltimes. The only reason people get upset with tongue-in-cheek things that may be said (entirely from the mouths of the third of the band that is gay, i might add) is, seemingly, because you, the beautiful babies, are simply assuming that we, as a hard rocking band with full-on pouting, muscle shows and human pyramid action, are all straight, tough, macho, gay-hating people, which is, funnily enough, exactly the opposite of the truth. So please, anything you're offended by, if John calls you a faggotlips and screams in your face, don't fly off the handle and start wailing on us, just call us up on it like any reasonable, beautiful adult baby would and we'll sort it out like good and very beautiful babies.

Any of our New York friends there?

Not this friday as in 2 days, but the next one as in 9 days.... the 22nd i think? Of August?

We'll all be at the Annex in New York (i know it's a big place, but we don't know the names of the parts lol).
John is playing a solo Dolby Anol show and if you're around, please come down and rock out/drink with us!

It might be the best night of our lives so far.
Why would you miss that?

SHOE CRAZE

MEN WEAR FEMALE SHOES AND FEMALES WEAR MEN SHOES.... WHO KNOWS WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT?!



We're spending the next two days nailing our songs.

Calum's hair is looking fucking awesome, by the way.

If you want to contact us, go back to the late '70s, star in the film version of The Warriors and fax us.

Lots of love,
Glasghost xxx

TOUR VIDEO 7

PRESTON


Dananananaykroyd Jul/Aug Tour Sick 7 from david roy on Vimeo.

I know people are watching these... the lack of comments makes me think they're not going down so well though hahah....

TOUR VIDEO 6

GLASGOW!


Dananananaykroyd Jul/Aug Tour Sick 6 from David Roy on Vimeo.

These videos are pure dying on their faces :(

Tour Video 5

Edinburgh now!


Dananananaykroyd Jul/Aug Tour Sick 5 from david roy on Vimeo.

CALUM GOTS HAS HAIR CUUUTT!

TOUR VIDEO 4

LEEDZ


Dananananaykroyd Jul/Aug Tour Sick 4 from david roy on Vimeo.

BIG version

Tour Video 3

Soonderland yes!


Dananananaykroyd Jul/Aug Tour Sick 3 from David Roy on Vimeo.

HD it up i know!

TOUR VIDEO 2

London....


Dananananaykroyd Jul/Aug Tour Sick 2 from David Roy on Vimeo.

Watch it in HD innit!

MAE SHI

I LOVE THE MAE SHI AND I WANT TO TOUR WITH THEM

HUNGRY FOR KEVIN

OK everyone, so we've just done the second leg of our pretty awesome mini-tour of the United States of the British Queen's Island. Four gigs of varying temperature and rockoutness. This is what happened... no, really!

Sunday - Preston
Semi-loltimes in the van watching Trading Places before arriving at a strange, wide venue with a stage the size of a shoebox... not to worry; put the standy-up bandmembers on the floor. HAPPY NOW? This turned out to be a brilliant gig... friendly crowd, our best human pyramid yet and a support band who may or may not have played a song called "Take Off All Your Pants Off". Also, Preston is home to one of the best kebab shops I have ever been in. Just don't ask Futurebear about the centipede.

Monday - London
We had some press-type stuff in the afternoon which culminated in the band having nice new loincloths to wear to future dinner parties before heading over the The Old Blue Last for a wild gig with The Mae Shi. It may or may not be fair to say that we rocked before doing a photograph on a flight of stairs and then partying with friendly people who had a bottle of Advocaat in their drinks cabinet and Sheryl Crow on the iPod. There are photos all over the internet of Sand Lord running through a human tunnel. Yeah, the internet; it's rad, no?

Tuesday - Brighton
There are, it seems, NO gay bars in Brighton, but apart from that, it's a real nice place. Deli Hawk lost approximately 14p on the penny falls. Her worst gambling loss yet. After wandering around the special interest and organic raisin shops, we descended on the Freebutt for our second gig with The Mae Shi. Much fun ensued despite my IDIOTIC feat of leaving my cymbals in London the night before. Who even IS this guy? Anyway, Andy from Glasgow and his pals let us stay in their pad where we drank beer out of cans and listened to Spaace Horse tell jokes all night.

Wednesday - Darlington
Oh Darlington, I think we can still be friends despite everything. OK, gig was alright but the one abiding memory of THIS particular jaunt is the majority of the band+driver (Scott Land) getting eaten alive by tiny leech-like bugs outside a service station between Brighton and Darlington waiting for Landwolf to return with keys... I mean, REALLY? What kind of service station even IS this? We didn't order bugs. Oh and I really need my cymbals back from London please? Thank you? Special love to the drummer from the support band. Your cymbals are really good. Can I use them again? LOLSTICKS??

So lots of fun, as usual... more bugs than required, plenty of manning up, last one in the pool's a penis pump, etc...

THIS IS HARDCORE

Dananananaykroyd @ The Old Blue Last (with The Mae Shi) 04.08.08
Originally uploaded by lucylovestodance

HI I'M THE LEAD SINGER OF A HARDCORE

BAN
D

CALLED "ROCKKKKKKKFASTER FOR PUNKS ORGANS WOLF SNAKE"

EAT MY ANGSTING LEVEL
BAWWWWWWWW

SAY GOOD AFTERNOON TO MY SMALL ACQUAINTANCE

Another tour done and gone. :(

Since I'm tired and all that, I'll just say that we are now fully equipped with pseudonyms. Let's DO THIS!:

SPAACE HORSE
DELI HAWK
FUTUREBEAR
GLASGHOST
LAND WOLF
SAND LORD

C IF U CN MAKE IT COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

cxxx

Tour Video 1

Starting off and Coventry in part one...Watch it in HD - David's Vimeo Puff

...more tomorrow!

BIG TIMMY TOUR SPLAT

So, we're away again tomorrow for the remaining 40% of our "AROMATIC SPICES BROUGHT TO YOU BY LYNX AFRICA" tour, and I've got a really sore tummy. What's all that about? Where's my chocolate? [Update: There's my chocolate.]

But anyway, mate. The past week has been an incredible amount of fun, and here it is for you in convenient and tres chic bullet-pointed form:

a) Coventry - hottest fucking room ever invented by human hands. Played the mighty Tough Love Records' 3rd anniversary, and last Coventry show before London exodus begins. We play at midnight or something due to usual all-dayer-running-late business, and take our tops off (here-on referred to as "manning up").
b) London - Soundcheck (!!!???wat?????) and then hang around with our label man Anthony from the label that we're labelled to and Machine, the producer of the production that we're producing. We buy shoes in bulk. I always tend to ruin mine quickly, but hot damn, those £5 plimsoles are working for me. We do some waiting and drinking, then play the rockingest show since time began, with football-esque chanting, all the stuff I wrote two posts down this page, and more manning up. Great great!
3) Sunderland - Playing at The White Room for debut club night called "The 1990s", if I remember correctly. It's taken me until now to realise there's also a band with that name, minus the "the". Whoa! My throat is fucked today and I generally feel like horrible achey death, so I spend my time being a total moan. I'm not sorry though. Don't you know who I am? Show was okay, a bit muted. Manning up occured in some factions of the band. Afterwards, head to the lovely suburbs and party for a fantastic age at Mike from This Ain't Vegas' house, with friends and beers.
dddd) Leeds - Holy moly! We pitch up at Brudenell, myself trying to look like the idiot of the world with ridiculous clothing arrangements. Played with some fucking awesome bands that I implore you to fawn over if you haven't previously: Cowtown, Pulled Apart By Horses, and That Fucking Tank. A fight breaks out mysteriously while we play, so we spend five minutes talking about positive things. Fighting ain't cool! After the show, say our goodbyes and drive back up to Glasgow.
fiveteen) Edinburgh - I went through to Edinburgh early to see my wee sister and spend time in my place of birth looking at the colour green. Ended up playing Dragon Quest IV on my DS for two and a half hours after the wee one went to work; a bit otaku or whatever, but thoroughly enjoyable. Before the show, the presence of beard trimmers prompts something I've been threatening for ages: letting the band cut my hair off. So I am now freshly shorn and look stupid. Who cares, right? We're doing some press stuff on Monday, and want to look twatty so my mum doesn't recognise me. Anyway, the show was good fun, touring budzzz Mirror! Mirror! were fantastic and I got (all too briefly) to see some old acquaintances who I miss very much.
a billion) Glasgow - We played at The Arches lolllooL!!! Had a nervous breakdown when my friends didn't recognise me instantly due to failed hip haircut. There was a Diesel party next door; a security guard told me that "we're not to let the bands in there". I told him I didn't want in because "everyone looks ugly and I don't like that guy's jacket". Fooled around in dressing rooms with the disarmingly young Mirror! Mirror! (including nude ladies filmed on camera phones through MSN!). We manned up and I even took my shoes off. My heels are still black.

Anyway, enough of my yakkin'. Thanks to everyone who came down to our shows and let us dribble on their floors! See you very shortly over the next bit of rocko!

Yours.... "forever",
Calumxx

PS. Duncan is now called "Landwolf".