02 November 2009
HUGTOBER: END OF TERM REPORT
HUGTOBER: DID YOU DO IT? DID YOU FIND US? CAN YOU WIN ME? HUNG A BIT, DID IT?
DAY ONE: NEWCASTLE
Tourdad pitched up in the VAN at midday and we all set off, with our new merchmonkey MARTIN in tow. Drove in the POURING RAIN to The Cluny - what a great venue! Local radical misfits Joel and Jack were there to meet us. They're great guys. We always have a good time in Newcastle and this time was no exception. We hooked up with our support bands Dinosaur Pile-Up and Super Adventure Club. LOVELY GUYS. SAC were, unfortunately, suffering from swine/bird/rock flu but powered through their set like the true professionals they are. Our show was great fun. We had a bit of the first night nerves and played everything at 100mph but a really friendly crowd made it a great show. Back to the Trannylodge where I got the last Chicken and Mushroom Pot Noodle from the 24-hour garage much to JBJ's anguish.
DAY TWO: NOTTINGHAM
We went to Nottingham to play at the Bodega - a really cool wee venue with the second worst load in/out of the tour! Last time we played here, there were about 30 people. This time the room was rammed. I can't explain how awesome it is to play to a room full of radical brosephs and brosephines. Nottingham's really nice, but there's nowhere to watch football on the telly. Still, we'll come back soon, I promise. We had lunch at a weird diner by the way. Coke floats for breakfast, lunch and dinner from now on, ok? Oh, I should add that our sound guy Kyle also pitched up in Newcastle. He calls you 'rude boy', says 'braap' a lot and falls asleep in the van with his gob open:
DAY THREE: NORWICH
We'd never been to Norwich before! It's great! Delia Smith didn't turn up. Horse. Still, we played in a church on a stage built ON TOP OF SEVERAL GRAVES... "ARE YOU THERE, SYDNEY?"
Amazingly, none of us got struck by lightning and we had yet another really fun evening. Thanks Norwich! A splendid Wall of Cuddles, too. Our merchmonkey Martin had been SMASHING his sales targets, mainly due to Ryan's 'encouragement'... Impressive stuff. But what's more impressive is that my snare drum (you hearing this, JBJ??) is SO LOUD, a single, normal stroke reaches 120db which is NUTS. DRUM GEEK LOLZ.
DAY FOUR: CARDIFF
Yaaaaay! Cardiff! OH GOD NO... WHY ARE WE UP AT 7AM?
A ghastly start to the day. We had a loooonnnggg drive from Norwich to Cardiff. Anyone who knows us will be au fait with our 'don't talk to me before midday' caveat. Still, poor Tourdad who had to actually DRIVE for 5 hours. Anyway... we made it to Cardiff and went straight to the BBC for a totally wonky and rather squiffy session for BBC Wales. Not the best session we've ever done (early mornings don't really agree with Calum and JBJ's voices and it's pretty difficult to do our 'music' in a quiet setting) but at least we got to catch up with the lovely Jen 'a-la-la-la-la' Long. We then had a quick break in the Premier Inn (WE'RE GOING UP IN THE WORLD, LADS!) and made our way to The Gate... the second church gig of the tour. Amazingly, none of us got struck by lightning. Maybe JC has accepted us for what we are, guys? An amazing lineup for this one. Our lovely pals Los Campesinos! and Copy Haho played at either side of us so top fun all round. Cardiff is always really good to us. Back to the Trannylodge for everyone except Calum who partied long into the night. He has to shoulder the burden for the rest of us being wimps. (Big thanks to Susan who brought root beer for John and I.)
DAY FIVE: OXFORD
Back to normality today as we were rejoined by Dino Pile-Up who had all succumbed to piggy flu and looked worse with every passing hour. Well done on continuing to rock, lads... It was also the final show Super Adventure Club would be playing with us BOO. Due to 'structural damage', we ended up playing in a weird half-room with a cave for a stage. Soundmonkey Kyle managed to somehow use the adjacent room as a sub-bass dungeon which made the entire building shake every time I slammed my foot on my kick drum pedal. Wow. Still, despite the weird surroundings, we had a good time. An energetic crowd helped! David managed to stave off the dreaded tour flu and rocked hard. Ryan may or may not have bashed his head for the umpteenth time. Best of all, we took Martin for his first ever Nando's and Duncan TOTALLY CASHED IN on his FREE HALF CHICKEN.
DAY SIX: DAY OFF!
We had a day off. Days off are gooooood. DROY and JBJ got to sit in their pants watching movies, Calum, Duncan and Ryan went to hang out with our manager Colin at his local, a wide-eyed Martin explored London town and I got horsed by Scott at pool before getting my dinner cooked by my pal Vicky. Real nice recharging time. We also picked up our XBoxes! TRANNYLODGE HOTELS DON'T HAVE A/V INPUTS THOUGH? Have you met our manager Colin? He's cool. We like him a lot. He likes cricket. Here's a picture of cricket:
DAY SEVEN: LONDON
Wow, a big show in London... our biggest London show yet. NERVOUS! After a morning sourcing Krispy Kreme doughnuts and sleeping as late as possible, we encountered our WORST EVER LOAD IN... well, worst of the tour. Something like 28 flights of stairs. GET READY FOR CRABCORE. So, anyway, The Scala! Lovely old venue. The closest thing we'd ever seen to the Barrowlands in Glasgow. Massive stage, lots of room for mischief and/or slipping about like penguins on spilled drinks... We welcomed our pals Calories into the fold for the first of two shows they played with us and they managed to put on one of the funniest, loosest performances I'd ever seen. Terrific. Our show was wild. Quite a cathartic experience playing to a packed room of London coolies. Best bit: David climbing up on top of a speaker and getting terrified cos it was so wet from all the dry ice. ROCK UND ROLL! Duncan hugged a surly security guard. Anyway, THANKS LONDON... I'd gone home by the point when Ryan destroyed some Islington trendies on the Fusball table. Good lad. Have you met our bassist Ryan? His banter is better than enyhunmn but he sometimes looks directly at the camera:
Photo by Kmeron
DAY EIGHT: BRIGHTON
Brighton! It's nice in Brighton. HOWEVER, it takes 2 hours to get out of London. LET US OUT OF LONDON, PLEASE. Anyway, we made it to Brighton! third worst load in/out of the tour! Where's the internet? Let's just go to Nando's! OK!! JBJ and I sourced our favourite root beer but we still can't find the gay bit of town that isn't rainbow flags and Eurobeat. C'mon Brighton! I missed Calories and Dinosaur Pile-Up to go and have a pint with Fraser and Rachel which was cooool. I never get to sit and talk about Polvo anymore. We had another good show. Probably one of the quieter gigs but Brighton peeps still did a pretty awesome Wall of Cuddles. I had a free pass from loading out so went to see Crowns On The Rats who are TOTALLY BRILLIANT. ALMOST MISSED THE VAN HOME... Spent the rest of the evening in the Trannylodge LOLLING at pictures of Scott, our Tourdad, on Facebook (ehh he sanctioned the whole thing by the way). This is the pick of the bunch:
(Seriously, I think this might be the funniest photo ever taken.)
DAY NINE: MANCHESTER
Two words: Dutch Uncles. We love them. They hopefully love us too. They came to our show. We put them on the guestlist. Anyway, massive big dressing room. Room for EVERYONE to lie down. No-one lied down. Unfortunately, our new (and final) support band Stage Blood couldn't make the show as their van broke down and they had to get towed back to Glasgow. RATS. The show itself was DANGEROUS. Duncan got mobbed before we were even onstage. A bit TOO rowdy? Kids, you gotta look out for each other down the front! Still, the majority of you were really good! A roasting hot, punishing set, but a good one. Nice room too... Wee party in the dressing room after the show, I got a bit of time to chat to the Dino Pile Up guys who are all REALLY REALLY NICE. Again, it was up to Calum to shoulder the burden for the rest of the band by going onto a party while the rest of us went back to the Travel Tavern to watch whatever crap film was on BBC1... Oh, we met Yves Klein Blue at the hotel! I joined them for a quiet drink. The life of a touring band isn't that excessive... Well, until you hit LEEDS.
DAY TEN: LEEDS
Uh-oh. Chaos? Good chaos though! We hit Leeds! The Brudenell Social Club is a fine place indeed. Third or fourth time we'd played there. Big thanks to the promoter for sourcing GOOSE ISLAND ROOT BEER for us... It cost him something like £18! THANKS DUDE! The rocktageous Stage Blood made it this time... yay! Dutch Uncles also played and are pretty much the best band on earth. There ah says it. Key points of this particular evening: JBJ's Tangerine Game, Ryan's tranny name is Kinky Leglock, Sped Dutch Uncles should not be allowed out of the house, Los Camp/Copy Haho/Dananan conga, "OMG, THERE'S A MOUSE IN THIS CUPBOARD", "OMG THAT GUY IS HOT" and "We're leaving at 9am"...
DAY ELEVEN: DAY OFF! DOOM IN THE VAN!
Five hours to get back to Glasgow. I don't want to talk about it. Some of us went to see LC! and Copy Haho at Tut's that evening. That was pretty good. Have you met our singer John? He's either climbing the walls or fast asleep (with his gob open):
DAY TWELVE: GLASGOW!!
Yaaaaay! Last show of the tour. A very busy Oran Mor. They put us in the nicest dressing room I've ever seen, complete with piano and 300-year-old table (the size of Zaire). Playing Glasgow is always a strange experience. It's a totally different crowd compared who used to come back in the early days. I was dying with 'flu and couldn't see beyond the front row of the crowd, but it seemed to be pretty rocking. THANKS GLASGOW! THASGOW!
Number of Pot Noodles consumed in total by the band and entourage: 389
Number of new tranny names created: 2
Number of tangerines used in Leeds: 8
Number of hangovers Martin had: 1
Best phrase of the tour: "Calum, I want to watch you have sex." (DROY)
Number of nights Duncan ate chili in a row: 4
Number of microphones broken: 0 (!!!)
Number of drumsticks broken: 7
Number of times Tourdad shouted at traffic: 4
Best at Fusball: Ryan
Worst chord: E flat
Soundtrack of the tour: Macho
Best hair: Calum on Saturday 31st October
Number of pairs of jeans Duncan brought: 1
Number of pairs of jeans I brought: 4
Number of brands of root beer consumed on tour: 3
Number of bandmembers currently ill: 2
Number of things I've probably forgotten to mention: 8282
ROLL CALL: DAVID, DUNCAN, CALUM, JBJ, RYAN, PAUL, SCOTT, KYLE, MARTIN, SUPER ADVENTURE CLUB, DINOSAUR PILE-UP, CALORIES, DUTCH UNCLES, STAGE BLOOD, LOS CAMPESINOS!, COPY HAHO, SPARKY DEATHCAP, INTERNET FOREVER, MUNCH-MUNCH, COLIN, STACEY, GAVIN, JEN, GAL, SUSAN, DAVID S, MICHAEL, CATHERINE, PROMOTERS, AUDIENCES, PALS, ETC.
See you next year, punks. xxx