BIG TIMMY TOUR SPLAT

So, we're away again tomorrow for the remaining 40% of our "AROMATIC SPICES BROUGHT TO YOU BY LYNX AFRICA" tour, and I've got a really sore tummy. What's all that about? Where's my chocolate? [Update: There's my chocolate.]

But anyway, mate. The past week has been an incredible amount of fun, and here it is for you in convenient and tres chic bullet-pointed form:

a) Coventry - hottest fucking room ever invented by human hands. Played the mighty Tough Love Records' 3rd anniversary, and last Coventry show before London exodus begins. We play at midnight or something due to usual all-dayer-running-late business, and take our tops off (here-on referred to as "manning up").
b) London - Soundcheck (!!!???wat?????) and then hang around with our label man Anthony from the label that we're labelled to and Machine, the producer of the production that we're producing. We buy shoes in bulk. I always tend to ruin mine quickly, but hot damn, those £5 plimsoles are working for me. We do some waiting and drinking, then play the rockingest show since time began, with football-esque chanting, all the stuff I wrote two posts down this page, and more manning up. Great great!
3) Sunderland - Playing at The White Room for debut club night called "The 1990s", if I remember correctly. It's taken me until now to realise there's also a band with that name, minus the "the". Whoa! My throat is fucked today and I generally feel like horrible achey death, so I spend my time being a total moan. I'm not sorry though. Don't you know who I am? Show was okay, a bit muted. Manning up occured in some factions of the band. Afterwards, head to the lovely suburbs and party for a fantastic age at Mike from This Ain't Vegas' house, with friends and beers.
dddd) Leeds - Holy moly! We pitch up at Brudenell, myself trying to look like the idiot of the world with ridiculous clothing arrangements. Played with some fucking awesome bands that I implore you to fawn over if you haven't previously: Cowtown, Pulled Apart By Horses, and That Fucking Tank. A fight breaks out mysteriously while we play, so we spend five minutes talking about positive things. Fighting ain't cool! After the show, say our goodbyes and drive back up to Glasgow.
fiveteen) Edinburgh - I went through to Edinburgh early to see my wee sister and spend time in my place of birth looking at the colour green. Ended up playing Dragon Quest IV on my DS for two and a half hours after the wee one went to work; a bit otaku or whatever, but thoroughly enjoyable. Before the show, the presence of beard trimmers prompts something I've been threatening for ages: letting the band cut my hair off. So I am now freshly shorn and look stupid. Who cares, right? We're doing some press stuff on Monday, and want to look twatty so my mum doesn't recognise me. Anyway, the show was good fun, touring budzzz Mirror! Mirror! were fantastic and I got (all too briefly) to see some old acquaintances who I miss very much.
a billion) Glasgow - We played at The Arches lolllooL!!! Had a nervous breakdown when my friends didn't recognise me instantly due to failed hip haircut. There was a Diesel party next door; a security guard told me that "we're not to let the bands in there". I told him I didn't want in because "everyone looks ugly and I don't like that guy's jacket". Fooled around in dressing rooms with the disarmingly young Mirror! Mirror! (including nude ladies filmed on camera phones through MSN!). We manned up and I even took my shoes off. My heels are still black.

Anyway, enough of my yakkin'. Thanks to everyone who came down to our shows and let us dribble on their floors! See you very shortly over the next bit of rocko!

Yours.... "forever",
Calumxx

PS. Duncan is now called "Landwolf".