JBJ v RYAN

what train
half past at mine
?
aye
19 past at mine
sound
so whats that at mine
?
half past
and at your bit, when is the train?
erm
19 minutes past
hang on
which means
let me look this up
it will get to yours at about half past
the train is at yours at half past
NO JOHN I GOT THIS
wait no no
aye
i need to get this right
NAW
AYE
i've told you 3 times now
im getting the TRAIN
ok.
so
right
just for arguments sake
if
theoretically i was to get teh same bus as you
it would get to mine
when?
just theoretically
aye but the bus doesnt come to mine at 19 minutes past
like i DO get it
so dont freak out
the train though
we could get that?
the train comes at mine at about 19 past
if it gets there
and travels apporximately 40mph
what time will you be at the station?
I GET IT
DROP IT
we're getting the TRAIN
what
right
start again
what time are we getting the train?
im getting the train now
what time will it be at mine then?
and it will pick you up at 19minutes past
i'll be on teh radio 4 carriage
then we get on the bus at half past at mine
right?
right
wait
when do i get the bus?
depends on where we are going
where are we going?
i love how instead of getting ready, i've decided to haVE THIS CONVERSTAION
AHHA

HAITI

It's incredibly easy to donate some money towards the Haiti Earthquake Appeal.

If you're in the UK, just go here: http://www.dec.org.uk and click on 'donate now'.

It really only takes a minute. I don't think even the laziest of slugs can muster up a reason not to. Everyone can spare a little bit of money.

00000 12/01/10

VID00016324

2009 in video

heres the year in video (some better quality than others)
and since we've been on tour almost none stop from january to november, this is obviously a little crude and missing out ALOT :p

KAISERS TOUR


SXSW, USA:

Dananananaykroyd SXSW Scottish Showcase Austin from NMK on Vimeo.

1st UK HEADLINE TOUR (with Dutch Uncles & Favours for Sailors RIP)
heres Dutch Uncles playing Talking Heads 'Making Flippy Floppy' with Calum jammin on drums

Dutch Uncles - Making Flippy Floppy (with Calum dananananaykroyd) from Land Wolf on Vimeo.

EUROKEENIES
(where we showed up 6 hours after our stage time and were still allowed to play!)

Dananananaykroyd at Eurockeennes from Land Wolf on Vimeo.

AUSTRALIA:


READING:


2ND UK HEADLINE TOUR



2010: new album, new shows, new fun times!

HUGTOBER: END OF TERM REPORT

HUGTOBER: DID YOU DO IT? DID YOU FIND US? CAN YOU WIN ME? HUNG A BIT, DID IT?

DAY ONE: NEWCASTLE
Tourdad pitched up in the VAN at midday and we all set off, with our new merchmonkey MARTIN in tow. Drove in the POURING RAIN to The Cluny - what a great venue! Local radical misfits Joel and Jack were there to meet us. They're great guys. We always have a good time in Newcastle and this time was no exception. We hooked up with our support bands Dinosaur Pile-Up and Super Adventure Club. LOVELY GUYS. SAC were, unfortunately, suffering from swine/bird/rock flu but powered through their set like the true professionals they are. Our show was great fun. We had a bit of the first night nerves and played everything at 100mph but a really friendly crowd made it a great show. Back to the Trannylodge where I got the last Chicken and Mushroom Pot Noodle from the 24-hour garage much to JBJ's anguish.



DAY TWO: NOTTINGHAM
We went to Nottingham to play at the Bodega - a really cool wee venue with the second worst load in/out of the tour! Last time we played here, there were about 30 people. This time the room was rammed. I can't explain how awesome it is to play to a room full of radical brosephs and brosephines. Nottingham's really nice, but there's nowhere to watch football on the telly. Still, we'll come back soon, I promise. We had lunch at a weird diner by the way. Coke floats for breakfast, lunch and dinner from now on, ok? Oh, I should add that our sound guy Kyle also pitched up in Newcastle. He calls you 'rude boy', says 'braap' a lot and falls asleep in the van with his gob open:



DAY THREE: NORWICH
We'd never been to Norwich before! It's great! Delia Smith didn't turn up. Horse. Still, we played in a church on a stage built ON TOP OF SEVERAL GRAVES... "ARE YOU THERE, SYDNEY?"
Amazingly, none of us got struck by lightning and we had yet another really fun evening. Thanks Norwich! A splendid Wall of Cuddles, too. Our merchmonkey Martin had been SMASHING his sales targets, mainly due to Ryan's 'encouragement'... Impressive stuff. But what's more impressive is that my snare drum (you hearing this, JBJ??) is SO LOUD, a single, normal stroke reaches 120db which is NUTS. DRUM GEEK LOLZ.



DAY FOUR: CARDIFF
Yaaaaay! Cardiff! OH GOD NO... WHY ARE WE UP AT 7AM?
A ghastly start to the day. We had a loooonnnggg drive from Norwich to Cardiff. Anyone who knows us will be au fait with our 'don't talk to me before midday' caveat. Still, poor Tourdad who had to actually DRIVE for 5 hours. Anyway... we made it to Cardiff and went straight to the BBC for a totally wonky and rather squiffy session for BBC Wales. Not the best session we've ever done (early mornings don't really agree with Calum and JBJ's voices and it's pretty difficult to do our 'music' in a quiet setting) but at least we got to catch up with the lovely Jen 'a-la-la-la-la' Long. We then had a quick break in the Premier Inn (WE'RE GOING UP IN THE WORLD, LADS!) and made our way to The Gate... the second church gig of the tour. Amazingly, none of us got struck by lightning. Maybe JC has accepted us for what we are, guys? An amazing lineup for this one. Our lovely pals Los Campesinos! and Copy Haho played at either side of us so top fun all round. Cardiff is always really good to us. Back to the Trannylodge for everyone except Calum who partied long into the night. He has to shoulder the burden for the rest of us being wimps. (Big thanks to Susan who brought root beer for John and I.)



DAY FIVE: OXFORD
Back to normality today as we were rejoined by Dino Pile-Up who had all succumbed to piggy flu and looked worse with every passing hour. Well done on continuing to rock, lads... It was also the final show Super Adventure Club would be playing with us BOO. Due to 'structural damage', we ended up playing in a weird half-room with a cave for a stage. Soundmonkey Kyle managed to somehow use the adjacent room as a sub-bass dungeon which made the entire building shake every time I slammed my foot on my kick drum pedal. Wow. Still, despite the weird surroundings, we had a good time. An energetic crowd helped! David managed to stave off the dreaded tour flu and rocked hard. Ryan may or may not have bashed his head for the umpteenth time. Best of all, we took Martin for his first ever Nando's and Duncan TOTALLY CASHED IN on his FREE HALF CHICKEN.



DAY SIX: DAY OFF!
We had a day off. Days off are gooooood. DROY and JBJ got to sit in their pants watching movies, Calum, Duncan and Ryan went to hang out with our manager Colin at his local, a wide-eyed Martin explored London town and I got horsed by Scott at pool before getting my dinner cooked by my pal Vicky. Real nice recharging time. We also picked up our XBoxes! TRANNYLODGE HOTELS DON'T HAVE A/V INPUTS THOUGH? Have you met our manager Colin? He's cool. We like him a lot. He likes cricket. Here's a picture of cricket:



DAY SEVEN: LONDON
Wow, a big show in London... our biggest London show yet. NERVOUS! After a morning sourcing Krispy Kreme doughnuts and sleeping as late as possible, we encountered our WORST EVER LOAD IN... well, worst of the tour. Something like 28 flights of stairs. GET READY FOR CRABCORE. So, anyway, The Scala! Lovely old venue. The closest thing we'd ever seen to the Barrowlands in Glasgow. Massive stage, lots of room for mischief and/or slipping about like penguins on spilled drinks... We welcomed our pals Calories into the fold for the first of two shows they played with us and they managed to put on one of the funniest, loosest performances I'd ever seen. Terrific. Our show was wild. Quite a cathartic experience playing to a packed room of London coolies. Best bit: David climbing up on top of a speaker and getting terrified cos it was so wet from all the dry ice. ROCK UND ROLL! Duncan hugged a surly security guard. Anyway, THANKS LONDON... I'd gone home by the point when Ryan destroyed some Islington trendies on the Fusball table. Good lad. Have you met our bassist Ryan? His banter is better than enyhunmn but he sometimes looks directly at the camera:

Photo by Kmeron

DAY EIGHT: BRIGHTON
Brighton! It's nice in Brighton. HOWEVER, it takes 2 hours to get out of London. LET US OUT OF LONDON, PLEASE. Anyway, we made it to Brighton! third worst load in/out of the tour! Where's the internet? Let's just go to Nando's! OK!! JBJ and I sourced our favourite root beer but we still can't find the gay bit of town that isn't rainbow flags and Eurobeat. C'mon Brighton! I missed Calories and Dinosaur Pile-Up to go and have a pint with Fraser and Rachel which was cooool. I never get to sit and talk about Polvo anymore. We had another good show. Probably one of the quieter gigs but Brighton peeps still did a pretty awesome Wall of Cuddles. I had a free pass from loading out so went to see Crowns On The Rats who are TOTALLY BRILLIANT. ALMOST MISSED THE VAN HOME... Spent the rest of the evening in the Trannylodge LOLLING at pictures of Scott, our Tourdad, on Facebook (ehh he sanctioned the whole thing by the way). This is the pick of the bunch:

(Seriously, I think this might be the funniest photo ever taken.)

DAY NINE: MANCHESTER
Two words: Dutch Uncles. We love them. They hopefully love us too. They came to our show. We put them on the guestlist. Anyway, massive big dressing room. Room for EVERYONE to lie down. No-one lied down. Unfortunately, our new (and final) support band Stage Blood couldn't make the show as their van broke down and they had to get towed back to Glasgow. RATS. The show itself was DANGEROUS. Duncan got mobbed before we were even onstage. A bit TOO rowdy? Kids, you gotta look out for each other down the front! Still, the majority of you were really good! A roasting hot, punishing set, but a good one. Nice room too... Wee party in the dressing room after the show, I got a bit of time to chat to the Dino Pile Up guys who are all REALLY REALLY NICE. Again, it was up to Calum to shoulder the burden for the rest of the band by going onto a party while the rest of us went back to the Travel Tavern to watch whatever crap film was on BBC1... Oh, we met Yves Klein Blue at the hotel! I joined them for a quiet drink. The life of a touring band isn't that excessive... Well, until you hit LEEDS.

DAY TEN: LEEDS
Uh-oh. Chaos? Good chaos though! We hit Leeds! The Brudenell Social Club is a fine place indeed. Third or fourth time we'd played there. Big thanks to the promoter for sourcing GOOSE ISLAND ROOT BEER for us... It cost him something like £18! THANKS DUDE! The rocktageous Stage Blood made it this time... yay! Dutch Uncles also played and are pretty much the best band on earth. There ah says it. Key points of this particular evening: JBJ's Tangerine Game, Ryan's tranny name is Kinky Leglock, Sped Dutch Uncles should not be allowed out of the house, Los Camp/Copy Haho/Dananan conga, "OMG, THERE'S A MOUSE IN THIS CUPBOARD", "OMG THAT GUY IS HOT" and "We're leaving at 9am"...



DAY ELEVEN: DAY OFF! DOOM IN THE VAN!
Five hours to get back to Glasgow. I don't want to talk about it. Some of us went to see LC! and Copy Haho at Tut's that evening. That was pretty good. Have you met our singer John? He's either climbing the walls or fast asleep (with his gob open):



DAY TWELVE: GLASGOW!!
Yaaaaay! Last show of the tour. A very busy Oran Mor. They put us in the nicest dressing room I've ever seen, complete with piano and 300-year-old table (the size of Zaire). Playing Glasgow is always a strange experience. It's a totally different crowd compared who used to come back in the early days. I was dying with 'flu and couldn't see beyond the front row of the crowd, but it seemed to be pretty rocking. THANKS GLASGOW! THASGOW!

TOURSTATS:
Number of Pot Noodles consumed in total by the band and entourage: 389
Number of new tranny names created: 2
Number of tangerines used in Leeds: 8
Number of hangovers Martin had: 1
Best phrase of the tour: "Calum, I want to watch you have sex." (DROY)
Number of nights Duncan ate chili in a row: 4
Number of microphones broken: 0 (!!!)
Number of drumsticks broken: 7
Number of times Tourdad shouted at traffic: 4
Best at Fusball: Ryan
Worst chord: E flat
Soundtrack of the tour: Macho
Best hair: Calum on Saturday 31st October
Number of pairs of jeans Duncan brought: 1
Number of pairs of jeans I brought: 4
Number of brands of root beer consumed on tour: 3
Number of bandmembers currently ill: 2
Number of things I've probably forgotten to mention: 8282



ROLL CALL: DAVID, DUNCAN, CALUM, JBJ, RYAN, PAUL, SCOTT, KYLE, MARTIN, SUPER ADVENTURE CLUB, DINOSAUR PILE-UP, CALORIES, DUTCH UNCLES, STAGE BLOOD, LOS CAMPESINOS!, COPY HAHO, SPARKY DEATHCAP, INTERNET FOREVER, MUNCH-MUNCH, COLIN, STACEY, GAVIN, JEN, GAL, SUSAN, DAVID S, MICHAEL, CATHERINE, PROMOTERS, AUDIENCES, PALS, ETC.

See you next year, punks. xxx

And up next, Russ Abbot covering the classic Joy Division track, Atmosphere

BLUES NIGHT AT THE BRUDENELL

David 'Golden Axe' Roy, Scott 'So Solid Styx' Sinclair and 'Rumbling' Ryan McGinness rock the Brudenell.

NEWCASTLE = COMPLETED..... NEXT LEVEL = NOTTINGHAM

Last night in Newcastle was great!

Super Adventure Club were spellbinding, and Dinosaur Pile-Up rocktageous!
We got our hands on some Sailor Jerry, and some fake irn bru. Brillzo!
Played two new songs, really happy with how they're going, last night must be the longest set we've ever played. This tour might well kill us.

We only get our Hugtober tshirts delivered today, so we're sorry Newcastle!

Oh! There's 9 of us in the van, now we feel like a properly heavy gang.

Talk soon!

Dunx

HUGTOBER WINNER DAY!

HELLO INTERNET!

I am pleased to have the courage to announce the winning entrant of our 'MAKE US A POSTER PLEASE' competition!

..And the award of 'great poster' goes to the wonderful ANDY VINE! Here it is:

Also amazing is this news: for our upcoming UK tour (see above poster for details), we shall be selling ridiculously limited edition t-shirts, with a striking 'Wall of Cuddles' design by none other than the delightful Tom Nurse! Get a load of this in your eyeboolz:


And that's the news! SEE YOU NEXT WEEK, GRATE BRITTON!!!!!

NEARLY THERE!

In a mere WEEK, we're gonna come out SWINGIN' and tour your pearl necklaces off. EXCITING!!! Who's coming?

THE IDES OF OCTOBER

Hi folks,

We're enjoying a well-earned break before the most exciting prospect of HUGTOBER comes to fruition. Thanks for all your poster ideas. Winners will be revealed very soon. We're all looking forward to getting out again and we may well even have some new songs for you. EXCITING, HEY?

I wanted to take a moment to talk about German perverts Rammstein. They TOTALLY stole our idea of making a box set of dildos to release with their new album. I don't want to post a picture of the dildos for those of you who read this blog at work, but if you want to see them, they're easily found via Google. Other search engines are available.

Anwyay, this is what the bandmembers look like from the neck up:


I'm not sure what we're going to do next. Could we make candle representations of our faces and give them away with the next album? Do you want a lock of our hair or something?

Oh, Sky Larkin are currently out touring the UK right now. Make the right decision and go see them. Their Glasgow show with Copy Haho was one of the best gigs I've seen this year. And I've seen TONS of shows, yeah? TONS. Like, absolutely TONS. No I haven't.

Copy Haho and Findo Gask are also going out on the road. You know what you need to do.

Finally, the great Canadian band Dog Day have a new 12" coming out soon and this track 'Synastry' is available as a free download from their website. You'll find a link to BUY the thing from there too... And I reccommend that you do just that. What a band. Enjoy and we'll see you all in a few weeks.



DAN x

A PICTURE OF RYAN

HUGTOBER

WOW! THE POSTERS SO FAR FOR HUGTOBER HAVE BEEN SO, SO BADICAL TURBO IT'S GOING TO BE VERY DIFFICULT TO CHOOSE A WINNER. PLEASE DO KEEP THEM COMING! YOU KNOW YOU HAVE IT IN YOU TO CONTRIBUTE TOWARDS SOMETHING SO SIMPLE, YET ULTIMATELY HEARTWARMING! BEEP! BLOW YOUR FUZZY LITTLE MINDS!

HUGTOBER(AT)GOOGLEMAIL.COM = YAY

wE JUST PLAYED THE LAST NIGHT OF OUR MOST RECENT EURO TOUR AND TO SAY WE ARE TIRED AND WEARY AND LITERALLY COVERED IN BED-BUG BITES IS QUITE THE UNDERSTATEMENT OF YOUR STINKING LIFE. DON'T SAY IT THEN, OK?!

HOWEVER, IT'S STRAIGHT INTO A VERY BRIEF REHEARSAL TOMORROW, WORKING ON THE VERY BEGINNINGS OF OUR NEXT FULL LENGTH, BEFORE TAKING A WELL EARNED REST FOR A FEW WEEKS (I'LL BE IN NEW ENGLAND USA GETTING ROSY CHEEKED WITH THE MISSUS).

IT FEELS LIKE OUR JANUARY TOUR WAS JUST A FEW WEEKS AGO. LOOKING FORWARD LOADS TO HUGTOBER THOUGH. I HOPE ALL YOU DUDES HAVE SOME STINKY TICKETS! THINGS ARE LOOKING GOOD. WE'LL BE TOURING FRANCE BEFORE THE YEAR IS OUT TOO. NOT TO MENTION ALL THE EXCITING THINGS WE ARE LINING UP FOR NEXT YEAR. OH GOD YES. HAHAHAHA LAUGH. HOW ARE YOU?

Birmingham gig

Hey Everyone!!!

Last day of the tour, in Berlin, it's been pretty amazing so far. Hamburg made it into our top 5 sweatiest gigs. Good work guys!

Next thing we're doing is this in Birmingham, it's free and over 14's!

DO YOU WANT TO BE MY FRIEND?

THE DANANANANAYKROYD BOOK OF POSSIBLE DOOM

Part 1 in a series of 239

FIRST ENTRY:

TILBURG 18/09/09

DEATH AVOIDED!

Gaahl, formerly of really ugly pervert band GORGOROTH was staying at our hotel.
I'm pretty sure he wanted to kill or rape us (or both) but we escaped unharmed.

GIRUY, GAAHL!

'HUGTOBER 09'

Hello dudes and dudettes! How have you all been? Oh yeah. We've just kicked off our Holland/Germany tour and are currently relaxing in Amsterdam eating crap and talking crap and just being biffters, yeah. Nice!

We're all getting super pumped and excited for our upcoming October UK tour. It's our first tour of the UK for a little while and will be our last of the year. We're calling it 'HUGTOBER 09' because we are all a bit silly and also because we like hugging! PSYCH!

ANYWAY! We've put together a simple, yet very lovely little competition, just to get you peeps contributing and helping make HUGTOBER that little bit more special for everyone involved.

THE COMPETITON:

We never really have especially good tour posters or flyers, so, for a change, we're asking you to design one and send it to us. THAT'S IT! EASY! All you need to do is design your poster, include the upcoming HUGTOBER dates (which you can find here - DANA MYSPACE - and we will go through them, put them in a special folder on our Myspace page and eventually choose our favourite one as a winner that will see HUGTOBER kicked off in possibly the best style imaginable!

THE PRIZE:

'Hey Everyone' CD album
Some seven inches
Sissy Hits EP
T-shirt
A pair of passes that enables you to get into as many dates as you want on the HUGTOBER UK tour

So, there you go. We will pass on some information on how to submit your poster to us as a comment to this very blog post soon. Good luck!

Oh aye, tickets for HUGTOBER are selling fast! Pick up yours today - SEE TICKETS!

YES.

I MADE YOU A PRESENT

As you can probably see, it's time for a mixtape. Or mp3. Who cares! I MADE YOU A PRESENT, OKAY!?!? Here's what's right up in it:

deradoorian - weed jam
uuvvwwz - green starred sleeve
nosaj thing - ioio
débruit - echtah
hudson mohawke - overnight
dirty projectors - temecula sunrise
st. vincent - laughing with a mouth of blood
animal collective - no more runnin'
deerhunter - circulation
pissed jeans - half idiot

Don't shoot us! Download it here:
http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?mdyzzxdzjjn

I HOPE YOU LIKE IT PLEASE SEE YOU SOOOOON

Europe Tour

No idea how we get back at the end though!

Come and say hi!