28 February 2009

PRESSING

HI

WE'RE DOING PRESS JUST NOW FOR OUR FORTHCOMING DEBUT ALBUM - THE GIGANTIC AND LOUD "HELLO" TO THE WORLD THAT IS 'HEY EVERYONE' - AND WE HAVE TO TALK TO ALL SORTS OF DIFFERENT INERVIEWERS. YES, FROM THE BEHIND THE CAMERA INTERVIEWER WHO ASKS YOU TO ANSWER IN A WAY THAT REPEATS THE QUESTION SO THAT IT MAKES SENSE WHEN HE EDITS HIMSELF OUT, TO THE COCKY, UNPREPARED "PERSONALITY" WHO LAUGHS WHEN HE CAN'T SAY YOUR NAME AND MAKES ONE OF THE BAND DO THE FILMING SO THAT HE CAN BE IN SHOT INSTEAD, IT'S ALL GO IN RADIO MAGAZINE LAND!

LET'S NOT DO THIS THOUGH: OUR BAND NAME IS A COMBINATION OF THE WORDS "NA" "NA" "NA" (AS IN "NANANA IM SINGING A SONG I DONT KNOW THE WORDS TO NANANA NA") AND THE POPULAR CANADIAN ACTOR OF THR 80S AND 90S "DAN AYKROYD" FROM GHOSTBUSTERS AND TRADING PLACES. YES, IT'S AS THOUGH HALF-BAKED COMEDY AND MUSIC HAVE *FINALLY* BEEN BROUGHT TOGETHER *WINK* OUR FRIEND CAME UP WITH IT BECAUSE HE IS FUNNY FUNNY FUNNY AND WE DON'T REMEMBER WHY OR WHEN.

OUR ALBUM IS COMING OUT SOON AND HOPEFULLY MORE THAN A HANDFUL OF YOU PEOPLE WILL DEEM IT THE BEST BRITISH ROCK RECORD SINCE THE LAST ONE. IN OUR MINDS IT IS GOOD.

LET'S DO THIS: I WANT TO START A FIGHT-POP* GANG. WHO WANTS TO BE IN IT? WHO WANTS TO JOIN OUR BAND? WHO WANTS TO COME ON TOUR WITH US AND HELP US SHIFT AMPS AND HELP SELL OUR MERCH? WHO WANTS TO COME TO OUR UPCOMING SHOWS AND ROCK OUT AND DANCE WITH US? WHO WANTS TO START A BAND AND LET US PLAY IN IT?



WHO WANTS TO BRING PERCUSSIVE INSTRUMENTS TO OUR SHOWS AND PLAY ALONG WITH US? WHO WANTS TO HUG ME? WHO WANTS TO SEE AN END TO ALL GIGS BEING SOLELY ABOUT THE PERFORMERS ON STAGE HAVING THEIR GIGANTIC EGOS LICKED AND FONDLED AND INSTEAD CREATE A HUGE SWIRLING ROOM OF LOVE WHERE EVERYONE IS IMPORTANT? COME TO OUR SHOWS ON THIS TOUR AND STOP FOLDING YOUR ARMS OR WEARING LEATHER OR BEING EMBARRASSED IN FRONT OF YOUR BOYFRIENDS. BRING AN END TO THE "BAND".

OH YEAH, WE HAVE TO GO TO THE USA FIRST, SO SEE YA IN A BIT PUNX.

*FIGHT-POP IS A MADE UP GENRE THAT CAN SORT OF PORTRAY (IF YOU REALLY OPEN UP YOUR EARS) A STYLE OF MUSIC WHERE MELODIC AND POP ORIENTATED MUSIC IS DELIVERED IN AN "AGGRESSIVE" (VERBALLY) MANNER, OR A SITUATION THAT MIGHT USUALLY INVOLVE A BIT OF ARGY-BARGY INSTEAD INVOLVING HUGS AND DANCING. LOOK OUT.

5 comments:

rusty said...

where will you be drinking before the london gig? i want to say hello.

simon said...

yeaaaayyyyyyyy! Sounds good to me :)

at the hoxton gig can we hav a compulsory dance off between any scene cunts that stand at the back and the looser gets their pristine "messy" hair messed up by everyone?

Can't wait for the album, and enjoy the Us tour!

xx

ALAN MUSIC said...

Rusty - chances are we will be in the venue most of the day. Come and rock out with us.

Simon - Nah, everyone there deserves a chance to prove themselves and nobody should be singled out unless they are causing trouble. Forced dancing will occur, but nobody can be excused, whether youre a hair man or not. Let's all dance and hug.

CALUM said...

PREACHER MAN!

I LOVE IT UP

George said...

David can i use a wee part of your speechy thang for my coursework? I'm doing a review on your album - it's gonna be mega!