17 February 2010

Ne8w So4ngs

Hi. We might be working on a few new tunes. We haven't quite decided yet. There are one or two little riffs kicking about the shop, but nothing particularly interesting or complete. One of them sounds like No Doubt and one of them sounds a bit like Prince. Another, sort of like nits. Yeah, I know! Where to go with that one... Who knows? The job centre? As we reluctantly, and with hearts as heavy as bags (heavy bags), begin the arduous task of getting people to tidy up and make a little room back there in their music-brains for us again, we're faced with what appears to be a gigantic wall made out of Newcastle. Picture a bow tie lying in a puddle. There are specks of blood on it. I have a little money. I will give you it all right now if it would make you happy. It wont? I will give you it anyway. *Parts hair*


Does anyone want to do an interview with us? No. OK WE'LL DO IT OURSELVES.

Hello. How are you?
I am fine. I had a headache, but I took some painkillers.
Great. So, what have the band been up to?
We went on a break.. or a sort of... trip?
Sounds grim.
Not especially.
When can we expect new things?
I don't know.
Have you written any new songs?
I don't know. What's wrong with Black Wax?
Ok.. So, that was great. Thanks.
I think our "fan forum" went on holiday too.
I know! *lol*

(This is easy.) Look at us. We're connecting. Bands and fan(d)s together (at last!!)

I've got a brand new idea for a music video where we are all standing in a cold room getting make up put on our faces, waiting for something to happen (applause). I've got a brand new idea for a sophmore album where you download it and hate it, listen to it a few more times and find out, to your annoyance, that it's actually not that bad (over-produced). By this point, however, the people who had refrained from leaving flippant, hateful comments (adults) are getting around to saying how much they are enjoying it, making the comments that you left when you were in such a hurry to be funny and snide looking particularly childish and boring. You go back four and a half retweets and are left contemplating why you enjoy disliking things.

                                                      I'm sellin rekkids!

Titus Andronicus slathered my aunt's face in liquid tin
Los Campesinos derailed a train with my lucky knitting needles
Johnny Foreigner are actually humanoid reptilians from the university of Kent
U2 have supplied four children with a lifetime supply of skin
Foals reach horizon, find another
Super Adventure Club feed popcorn to wasps


Robin said...

i am none of them. i am so confused that I am questioning my sexuality and my place within society.


Pudding said...

What about you just go to Lowlands this year and make me very happy :D Isn't that the Best Plan Ever?

Stinky Man said...


Calum said...