3RD JUNE - A VAN IS FINE TOO

Calum is keeping some kind of tour diary. He's going to post it on this thing. Starting now.

MORNING>

We're on our way to Newcastle to play our first of three shows with Johnny Foreigner and Ox.Eagle.Lion.Man, part way through their tour, in the best van we have ever had the courage to lay our eyes on. There's a fucking TABLE. And ELECTRICITY. That you can PLUG IN to. I took advantage of the latter by making a couple of things for the as-yet-unfinished NHG record - I'll hopefully have it finished by the time we get back to Glasgow, so the kids can use their browsers and html things and download it.
I have no money until Thursday, due to lying banks and cheques. Who uses cheques these days? When I have no money, it makes me hungry. I'm praying to anyone's God that there's some kind of rider. Or a sandwich made of eagles. Anything. I can't "rock" on an empty stomach, you know.

EVENING?

Got to Newcastle's The Cluny and watched Johnny Foreigner (from here-on known as "JoFo"? Is that okay please?) soundcheck. Had a hard time telling whether or not my ears are ruined from countless full-volume headphone rocking sessions. John and James had a mini-breakdown - their hi-hat stands have been transformed from hi-hat stands into miniature pieces of a broken clown shoe or something. We're down a footplate for one (HOW?!? JUST... HOW?!?!?), but Junior from JoFo is rad enough to let us use his. And his kit. Rad!
The stage in this place is the hottest place I have ever endured. Even soundcheck was destroying. The sound guy told me not to "cup the mic", which I believe is the standard emo-hardcore-screamo way. I've been meaning to stop doing that for a while, so I mutter something idiotic about having "done gigs before", and take his advice.
After a nice soundcheck where I got excited about playing music, we sat around in our awesome van (at this point I'd like to thank our driver guy Scott - his mum knows mine!) with Alexei, who I immediately like. We find out that we can order some free food from the bar. I plump for a Greek Mezze, and read a bad review of our EP, Sissy Hits, which propels a serious LOL from the mouths of the Naykroyds. We're crying inside though. WHY MAN, WHY?!?!?

NIGHTTIME:
I was a bit drunk when I wrote this bit. Self-editing is probably necessary.

I really enjoyed our show in the epicentre of Newcastle's sweatbox, but I guess I enjoy all of our shows. David, Duncan and I spent a lot of time off the stage, which always results in radical carnage. I hit myself in the head with my microphone, on purpose, at the climax of The Greater Than Symbol And The Hash. It didn't hurt at the time, but it sure fucking hurts now. There's a idiot lump on my scalp. Rock music can be dangerous, maaaaan. I guess I've listened to too much hardcore recently, which I can attribute to Sinead's influence.
JoFo were fantastic. That's the first time I've seen them play. Looking forward already to tomorrow's show - JoFo are great fun to be around (GUSH, GUSH, GUSH) and I wish we could tour forever (OH, ~GUSHHHHH).